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Purging my life and my computer…
June 25, 2026 5:44 pm I have to add a trigger warning- there is talk of abuse beyond what I have mentioned before. Not explicit details but enough so that I felt a warning was needed. Just in case. I finally feel ready to do it. I am going to go through all of the…
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Unanswered questions everywhere
至る所に未解決の疑問が散らばっている June 24, 2026 3:03 pm 2026年6月24日 午後3時03分 I am feeling a bit “airheaded” after the canvas I did yesterday. It’s the first painting I’ve done since February when I did the “angry blue hand print” canvas. So I’m sorry if this blog post has no direction. I am an air sign. 昨日描いたキャンバスのせいで、ちょっと「ぼんやり」した気分です。2月に「怒りの青い手形」のキャンバスを描いて以来、初めて描いた絵なんです。だから、このブログ記事がまとまりのない内容になっていたらごめんなさい。私は風星座なんです。 Patience has…
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Dreams have meaning
June 19, 2026 Two nights ago, I had a dream that I actually remembered. It’s so rare for me that I’ve only had that happen about half a dozen times in the last few years. I was violently awakened from the dream, I don’t know why. But my head was pounding and felt like it…
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The Awakened One
June 16, 2026 to June 18, 2026 This one took me two days and a lot of energy to write. I almost didn’t post it now, was going to save it for later. Hide it away a little longer and keep it safe. Protecting myself. But I am done with that. There is no reason…
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Frustrated with my brain a blog
自分の頭脳にうんざりして、ブログ June 14, 2026 2026年6月14日 Do you know how hard it is for someone like me to realize their brain no longer works efficiently? I’m a Gemini- we are smart communicators who love learning because we retain it and use it. I have always loved learning so much so that my motto used to be-…
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Grief does not have a linear timeline
悲しみには、決まった流れというものはありません June 12, 2026 8:13 pm 2026年6月12日 午後8時13分 I was going to write a blog about my first impressions of the new NUL album- Artifact. (which is amazing by the way!) NULのニューアルバム『Artifact』の第一印象についてブログを書こうと思っていたんです。（ちなみに、このアルバムは最高ですよ！） But instead, I need to talk about something that makes many people uncomfortable. Because it’s not light and happiness. It’s truth in the…
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RAPTURE the review-
the final installment May 29, 2026 I don’t usually post my translations of songs unless it pertains to one of my paintings. I don’t have plans of a painting for this one. And I am worried about sharing my translation because it does differ from the two others that I found while searching for the…
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Well, fuck I’m 50… now what?
May 29, 2026 3:43 pm Ah, the first day of my vacation. I actually slept in, until 5 am. My body thought I was late for work and told me it was time to be awake. I don’t mind. I try to keep on my work sleep schedule, even on my normal weekends. The tendency…
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Part 2 of Broken Open by Rapture
May 15, 2026 7pm Not a continuance of the chaos of yesterday. This is clarification after some desperately needed sleep. And yes I realize my need to clarify and explain is a trauma response. I will still write this follow up blog because I don’t want to be thought of as unhinged or crazy. My…
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Broken Open by Rapture
May 14, 2026 5:57 pm Where do I even begin? Sixteen long years since Despairs Ray made new music. It seems a lifetime ago. I mourned deeply. And now, I’m not sure how to feel… obviously joyous because they are reborn. But I truly grieved the loss of them as a band (as many fans…