the final installment

May 29, 2026

I don’t usually post my translations of songs unless it pertains to one of my paintings. I don’t have plans of a painting for this one. And I am worried about sharing my translation because it does differ from the two others that I found while searching for the kanji lyrics. I’m not trying to offend anyone or insinuate they are mistaken.

I don’t claim to be great at translating as I am not fluent (even the slightest) in Japanese. I use several tools like translation apps and dictionaries, my intuition and my understanding of the writer after 19 years of dissecting his lyrics.

Please understand, any mistakes or differences of opinion are just my interpretation from my experience, observations and intuition. I used italics for the translated lines.

So I am stepping far outside my comfort zone, yet again, and sharing lyrics written by Hizumi, that I tried my best to translate. This time a D’espairsRay song, the first in 16 years. I am also posting the link to the video, in case you want to listen as well as read. Fair warning- it’s full of symbolism and weirdness and I love it.

RAPTURE     Despairs Ray

Released May 13, 2026

Lyrics- Hizumi   Music- Karyu

I’m gonna scream again

Wake up and rise

I’m gonna scream again

Wake up and rise

GO………!

Had faith?

まだ消えない　混沌に灯す炎

Mada kienai　konton ni tomosu honoo

A flame that still burns   lighting up the chaos

Lost faith?

過去に引導　再生の業火　Set it ablaze

Kako ni indou　saisei no gouka

the past’s Final Call, the inferno of Rebirth  

Born to break, bred to rise

We tear the world apart

灰の向こうへ

Hai no mukou e

Beyond the ashes

Born to Break, bred to rise

Nothing will hold us down

共にいこう

Tomo ni ikou

Let’s go together

帰れぬ風　悲哀奏で

Kaerenu kaze　hiai kanade

The wind that cannot return   plays a melody of sorrow

傷痕抱け

Kizuato idake

Embrace your scars

願い唄え　夜明けまで

Negai utae　yoake made

Sing your wishes　until the dawn

もう少しだけ

Mou sukoshi dake

Just a little longer

過去脱いで　闇這い出

Kako nuide　yami haide

Shedding the past　crawling from the darkness

時間を解け

Jikan wo hodoke

Unraveling time

壊れるまで　息を奪え

Kowareru made　iki wo ubae

Until I break　take my breath away

さあBreak.Bound.  Come on, break. Bound.

Found faith

途切れた糸を手繰り寄せ祝う

Togireta ito wo teguri yose iwau

* Reeling in the severed threads (of fate), praying they rejoin.

Hold faith

託された想いまだ心臓を穿つ

Takusareta omoi mada shinzou wo ugatsu

The feelings entrusted to me still pierce my heart

Born to break, bred to rise

We tear the world apart

再来を業炎

Sairai wo gouen

The return of the inferno

Born to Break, bred to rise

Nothing will hold us down

止まない風　悲哀奏で

Yamanai kaze　hiai kanade

The ceaseless wind　plays a melody of sorrow

残骸に咲け

Zangai ni sake

Bloom among the ruins

願い唄え　夜明けまで

Negai utae　yoake made

Sing your wishes　until the dawn

** I’ll be your Re:deemer

過去脱いで　闇這い出

Kako nuide　yami haide

Shedding the past　crawling out of the darkness

今座標翳せ

Ima zahyou kazase

*** Now hold aloft the coordinates  

壊れるまで　息を奪え

Kowareru made　iki wo ubae

Until I break　take my breath away

さあBreak. Burn.  Come on, break. Burn.

No more chains

Break my doubt – I’m steady

Break my fear – I’m awake

Break my scars – I remain

Break my past – I’m reborn

Break my fate – I’m ready

終わらぬ風　悲哀奏で

Owaranu kaze　hiai kanade

The endless wind　plays a melody of sorrow

今生きる声

Ima ikiru koe

Now this voice comes to life

願い唄え　夜明けまで

Negai utae　yoake made

Sing your wishes　until the dawn

聞かせてよ

Kikasete yo

Tell me

過去脱いで　闇這い出

Kako nuide　yami haide

Shedding the past　crawling out of the darkness

願いを束ね

Negai wo tabane

Gathering wishes

愛せるまで　息を奪え

Aiseru made　iki wo ubae

Until I can love you　take my breath away

さあBreak. Now.   Come on, break. Now.

(Crush the past again    Ignite my fate    Dare to believe)

その火を… 誰が為に灯すだろう？

Sono hi wo…

(Crush the past again    Ignite my fate)

Dare ga tame ni tomosu darou?

For whom will that flame be lit?

NOTES:

* I chose this phrase as my translation because (in my opinion) it makes sense with the rest of the song’s lyrics. Like he is reeling in all of the broken fate threads of the band and fans, trying to weave them back together. I used “severed” because in essence, those threads of fate were ripped apart with no warning in a sudden/violent way. They didn’t disband because they wanted to- Hizumi’s throat condition forced it (doctor’s orders) “Severed” paints a distinctly different picture than “broken” does.  

In the video he is pulling an invisible line toward him hand over hand… and “reeling in by hand” is very similar to that motion. More so than winding or spinning motions. (Plus, as a fiber artist, the imagery of reeling in threads and trying to weave them back together is created in my mind when I hear this line)

Final Call, (Lost in) Rebirth and Re:deemer are all references to titles of previously released songs of Desray.

But the line- “I’ll be your Re:deemer” has a deeper meaning than just a title reference, in my humble opinion.

** Restoring what was lost, fixing a broken dynamic, making up for past mistakes, supporting someone through a hardship, to make it better or give it value again. Saying “I’ll be your redeemer” can be a dramatic or deeply personal way of saying, “I will make things right for you.”

*** The phrase “Now hold aloft the coordinates” can describe an artist or poet whose work acts as a navigational aid (like a compass), to place ideas onto the “map” of human experience. As in his lyrics and the music are meant to leave an impact on us (the fans) or that the song is guiding all of us into this experience of the rebirth of Desray after 16 years of separation.

I had to add my notes, to clarify why I translated certain lines the way I chose to. That was where my intuition was mostly used. The video is full of symbolism I am still trying to understand, but one interesting part was that the bottle Zero (the bassist) was feeding to Hizumi (the vocalist) contains Liquefied carbolic acid. Of course I had to research it because that’s one of the wonderful parts of my ADHD brain.

Liquefied carbolic acid is used in things like DNA extraction but is highly toxic. As in system wide destruction and death. So in essence, he had him drink death in liquid form to become alive again. And I chuckle every time I think about it because that symbolism is perfect for a band that is reborn from the void.

I purchased the entire five versions of the release. They are the full everything version, Voiceless (no Hizumi), Guitarless (no Karyu), Bassless (no Zero) and Drumless (no Tsukasa). While I can appreciate each version as is, I found myself really noticing what wasn’t there in the altered versions. And each time I listen to those versions I really miss the parts that were left out. Then I have to replay the full version to set it right again in my brain.

No offense to Karyu (he’s my favorite guitarist besides hide) but without his amazingly skilled guitar riffs, I can hear the bass really well. And when it comes to music, the bass will always be my favorite instrument, with drums a close second. Certain guitars tones are too high for my brain, depending on how overstimulated I am for that day.  I do appreciate the immense skill he has as a composer and musician and most of the time a screaming solo thrills me as much as strong vocals, gritty bass and primal drums.

There’s a reason this band is my favorite. It’s a band full of my favorites of their chosen instruments. No one anywhere writes and sings like Hizumi. Tsukasa is a beast on the drums. Zero is steady and strong and Karyu brings the skillful flair in both composing and playing. I also get tickled when he or Zero add in their vocals. Though Karyu’s lyrics are a bit racy for some of you that read this blog. I’m talking about  “In Vain”, specifically LOL

These are four extremely talented men who are passionate about their chosen path in music. And when they went their separate ways for awhile, I almost didn’t feel that from any of their other endeavors (except Tsukasa with his Enka). Until NUL was born seven years ago. They are meant to be a band, performing together, writing together, because its magic when they do. No one will convince me otherwise. The universe wants this band to be everything it is and more.

This is what I wanted to write when I began the first blog post about this song… but I got overwhelmed, as I do at times. I spent so much of my life masking/hiding my emotions. When all the walls came down (at least in my “not work” life) I had to work through decades of repressed emotions. And it was like an ocean during a hurricane or tsunami reaching land for awhile. I’m still working on those, I think I always will be. Most of the world will always see the stoicism, like in that picture of me as a child. That mask will stay part of who I am to the majority, because it’s an act of self preservation.

I am protecting what is left, what I can and will be. I’ve lost too many dreams, too many pieces of my heart to the wrong people. There’s a reason I say I’m in a relationship with music. At least when it hurts, it’s for my higher good not my destruction. It may break me down, but it also lifts me higher than I have ever been. Who needs drugs or alcohol when you have music?

This was a long one, eh? Thanks for reading!

7:37 pm