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Trying to find the silver lining
In a life that keeps throwing darkness at me May 23, 2026 blog At 2:30 pm “Stop people pleasing!” Bestie said today. I was talking about how sad I was that my headphones were broken, and now I had to use the bluetooth speaker and play my music out loud. Sometimes I need my Capricorn…
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Part 2 of Broken Open by Rapture
May 15, 2026 7pm Not a continuance of the chaos of yesterday. This is clarification after some desperately needed sleep. And yes I realize my need to clarify and explain is a trauma response. I will still write this follow up blog because I don’t want to be thought of as unhinged or crazy. My…
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Broken Open by Rapture
May 14, 2026 5:57 pm Where do I even begin? Sixteen long years since Despairs Ray made new music. It seems a lifetime ago. I mourned deeply. And now, I’m not sure how to feel… obviously joyous because they are reborn. But I truly grieved the loss of them as a band (as many fans…
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May 2 and 3 2026
I know it’s been awhile. Life has been a roller coaster lately. I’ve been at my place of employment for over 4 years now. And I’m currently on my 6th manager. I struggle to connect with authority on a good day, but the constant changes in the hierarchy are astoundingly annoying. Our latest manager is all…
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February 14, 2026
Five years ago today, my mother, Virginia passed away. It was also her and her second husband’s anniversary. When it happened, I had already lost my longtime best friend, Lisa, and my father’s mother, Doris in the previous two months. April 13, 2019, my mother’s mother, Dorothy passed away. Only a year and 10 months…
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February 8 2026
I haven’t finished a painting or written anything in so long. No motivation, no inspiration. I’ve been in survival mode. Just existing. I wasn’t even enjoying music anymore. Or the simple joy of a beautiful sunrise or fresh fallen snow. I only crocheted to use up yarn, make useful things, and to control the anxiety,…
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LISA ANNIVERSARY BLOG
December 18, 2025 The year was 1981, and I was five years old. The two kindergarten classes would sometimes get together for music or story time. I was a painfully shy child who didn’t make friends easily. But then I saw the girl with short brown hair (just like mine) wearing the same exact denim…
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THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE… FACING THE SHADOWS
November 6, 2025 English only 2:11 AM US central standard time I have a lot of emotional baggage that I’ve never bothered to unpack. I just kept shoving it to the back of closets, under the bed, far away from where I would be confronted by it daily. And yet, there it always is. At…
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END OF OCTOBER BLOG (English)
October 24, 2025 12:49 am On Sunday, my (adult) kid and I went for a short hike at one of my favorite places in Iowa. It’s about ten miles outside the town I live in. It’s a county park next to the Iowa River, called Three Bridges. It’s a place that holds a lot of…
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8TH ANNIVERSARY BLOG 8周年記念ブログ
October 5, 2025 2025年10月5日 I grew up in the shadow of my older brother who could draw, paint and write well. He also taught himself to play guitar by ear. He could do anything he put his mind to, the firstborn child, our father’s favorite. I adored my older brother but I didn’t understand him.…